Mission Trip - West Kalimantan

I've just returned from a mission trip to West Kalimantan. It was really an eye opener for me, personally. I don't know what's in the head of other members, but I'm sure have a lot to talk about the trip.

The pastor told us that we are not going to serve God, rather, we are there to seek God. I agreed with her. I have another friend who went to mission trip before and said the same thing to me. She went into mission trip to seek God's plan for her life. I think that's supposed the way anyone who wanted to go for any mission trip.

Honestly, I think I saw and learnt 2 things during the mission trip. First, the people I met throughout the trip. Second, my own team members' attitude. There are so much excitement, amusements and weird things that I saw in them. I snapped 11 rolls of film, and 4 video tapes. I'll be spending this week compiling into CDs the unedited version. Hopefully the edited version for the trip will not exceed 2 CDs (2 hours) and will be ready in 2 weeks time.

I think I'll post my day by day thoughts in a separate posting. It'll be a diary for the trip, and perhaps I will open that postings to public.

Happy Birthday?

I'll be celebrating my birthday soon. I'm not sure if I should allow my colleagues to celebrate it for me. After many years, I don't feel like celebrating my birthdays anymore. Probably I'm still a kid, or maybe I'm single and have no one special to celebrate with. Yeah, family members will be celebrating my birthday though..

I do feel like messaging my colleague and tell her that this year I would like to be left alone from the birthday celebration. I don't know why, but I felt stressed and disorientated. Perhaps distracted, but I can't describe the feeling at the moment. All I know is my shoulder's pain is nagging me.. hrmm.. where's that plaster?

Sigh.. Happy Birthday to me...

Chicken Rice

My mom taught me a simple chicken rice recipe, like the one we see at the claypot chicken rice stall. All we need to do is actually chopping the chicken into smaller pieces, and prepare the ingredients to go with the rice.

Unlike the claypot chicken rice (you need a claypot to cook), we basically dump everything into the rice cooker and let it cook by itself. If your skill is not good enough, you may get half cooked meat, or raw meat with half cooked rice.

I tried to cook the chicken rice today, and I thought the dish is ready for consumption. However, I noticed someone didn't touch the chicken meat at all. I was not happy with the wastage of food. The meat should be left in the rice cooker for slow cooking afterward. When I asked if the chicken meat is uncooked, that person said yes. I don't know if that person is telling the truth.. but the meat on the plate is obviously telling me another story.

Sigh.. I don't think I'll do this dish in the future if the people I'm trying to share the food is not appreciating the effort I've poured out.

Personal thoughts

I'm beginning to feel burnt out from my work. I don't have anyone to tell about my frustration and fear in my work.. It's not a nice feeling, and almost everyday I hear the radio ads telling people to get help from Befrienders, a counselling sort of organisation, for depression, tension and stress.

I should know all these things better. I'm a Christian, though a rather lousy one, but I do know one thing: I should cast all my cares and fears and whatever things in my life to Jesus Christ, for He cares for me.

Now I'm not sure it's all due to lack of sleep or rest, or I'm just being un-me right now. sigh...

Another thing.. I just noticed I can't find Befrienders Malaysia website in Google, but found this instead: The warning signs of suicide. I'm actually displaying one of the possibility? gee.. now that makes me think...