I decided to go on 14-days of fasting and praying to seek Father God's will and direction for my career/vocation. While I will start on the 7th, the evening of 6th is quite eventful by itself. I went on my knees and begin to pray, asking the Lord Jesus' presence to fill the room as I prepare to worship Him. I began to weep, asking for forgiveness from Him for all my sins, iniquity and transgression. I can't sing or play the guitar properly as I sobbed uncontrollably as I declared God's goodness in my life. As the lyrics goes:
All my life You have been faithful
All my life You have been so, so good
With every breath that I am able
I will sing of the goodness of God
Your goodness is running after, it's running after me
Your goodness is running after, it's running after me
With my life laid down, I'm surrendered now
Your goodness is running after, it's running after me*
Indeed it is true, that as I look back in my life, my Father God have never abandon me. There is no lack in my life, though sometimes I couldn't see or feel Him. The vision where I was so loved by Him kept coming back when I think of His goodness. My Father God is good, so so good to me even when I turned my back from Him, when I ran away from Him, when I had believed in the lie that I can't go back to Him. He never let me go, He came and looked for me. He sent His saints to pull me out of my sinful life, and He restored me into His family.
Now, another chapter of my life is coming to an end, and a new chapter is to be written by God. I want to live in His will and for His glory, not by my strength and wisdom like in the past, but by His love alone. As Danielle Bernock wrote in Christianity.com** "Seek to love above all else, and the gifts will find their place because God is love."
My prayer: Dear Father God, please hear Your child's petition and cry for more of Your love, because Your perfect love drives out all fears in me. Only with Your love, Father, that I can live and move and have my being. Let me remember 1 Corinthians 13:1-3, that without Your love, all my efforts will be in vain. Thank you Jesus, my Lord and Saviour, that I can learn from You how to love God, myself and others with Your love. May the Holy Spirit be my guide and teacher always, till I see You face-to-face, amen.
* Song name "The Goodness of God" - Bethel Worship
** https://www.christianity.com/christian-life/what-are-spiritual-gifts-understanding-the-types-and-discovering-yours.html
